If you could stop the world for a day, what would you do? 

I had a few knee jerk reactions, but quickly put them aside as being far too boring. So cross off the list catching up on errands or work, sleeping or reading. (You can also cross off thumping Lindsay Lohan in the head. That would be satisfying, but a waste of perfectly good time.)

Instead, I would probably do things I’m too self-conscious to do normally, like:

Go to a gorgeous hotel pool. Since I hesitate to do that in everyday life it would be nice to have it all to myself and not worry about anyone seeing me in a swimsuit. (This would require a bartender NOT being frozen in time for the day. A blind bartender.)

Dance down the middle of the street.  Think Ferris Bueller or Gene Kelley. (Apparently, on this stopped day, I miraculously have coordination and rhythm.)

Sing over the loudspeaker at the BallPark. (Something really embarrassing, like “I am Woman” or “Wildfire.”)

Wear absolutely no make-up.

And at the end of that day, I would have a panic attack, wondering if I had been secretly videotaped doing all those things.

Because the world revolves around me.

For real this time.


  1. Actually, there is no reason why you cannot do those things now, except for the ballpark thing. But for the rest… my wife was most astonished when she learned that, on balance, I really do not care what people think about things like that. But it really is a most liberating philosophy to have. In the summer months when I’m in the shop covered with sawdust, and it’s some 96 degrees or more, if I were too self-conscious to wear shorts, I would absolutely die—not from embarrassment, from heat!

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